Thursday, March 8, 2012

Becoming & Emerging

For almost a year now I've been working some specific goals/dreams. It seems that everything I've done for the past year got a rejection. One after another. It just wasn't fitting together. I've been working. working. working. And even though I knew it wasn't in vein it sure didn't feel successful. It just felt like work followed by rejection. But the inspiration I felt while working gave me hope. Not success but hope.
 
Then in January I made one more bold move after months of pursuing and being rejected. One that is still developing and I'll be telling you about a lot more in the weeks to come. I'm both nervous and excited. Why do those emotions seem to travel as a pair? Like Jekyll and Hyde. One serves to propel you forward while the other to hold you back. Perhaps if balanced properly they are more like peanut butter and chocolate - harmoniously coexisting to compliment one another creating cautious optimism or a Reese's Cup. It does seem that one or the other is in the lead depending on where you bite, I suppose. One day insecurities are surfacing and nervousness is taking the lead, the next day can be full of excitement at the opportunity laced road you are walking. Opportunities are all around us but they must find us working or they will find someone else who is interested enough to pursue their dreams even without an opportunity in sight. I think that might be the biggest difference in people - those who pursue only what they see in front of them and those who pursue the unknown to find that the obscure becomes tangible. The can'ts become cans. The dreams become goals. The work becomes just that...work. Work to keep your hands busy, your mind learning and your heart excited while you merge your dreamed of life with your reality. Grabbing a piece of the dream and a piece of experience and fitting them together creating your very own beauty-full life.

There does seem to be this elusive piece to all of it though...timing. I'm not sure any of us will ever figure out that one. God's timing never seems to be our timing. And he doesn't seem to give out time lines. "Your miracle will happen in T minus 4 yrs 3 months 56 days 10 hours 16 mins and 49 seconds". Then again, if we knew, we'd probably just wait instead of pursuing and I think the pursuing is important. It teaches us the things we need to know for when the timing is right. It allows us to fly under the radar while building our persistence, honing our skills and creating a strong foundation of faith. Kind of like a caterpillar does in the cocoon. It might seem dark in there but do you really want a spot light on your learning process? The process of becoming is done in private. (But you, when you pray, enter into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret shall reward you openly. Matthew 6:6 KJV) Once we have done our growing in secret we can emerge. And that's what I feel like the next few weeks are for me. An emergence. Even though I have shared some of my growing pains along the way there are some discoveries I've made in the process that have yet to be shared openly. I look forward to sharing them with all of YOU! And there is the Reese's Cup of nervous excitement again....

Until I can share more...

1 comment:

Tricky Troyer said...

well said friend! this sounds completely tricky...can't wait to hear more!