Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The pursuit.

I often talk about dreams and pursuing them. I've been thinking about that subject a lot lately. More specifically pursuing them while being a wife and a mother. It's so easy to think we've passed our chance to pursue our dreams when we get married and it seems even more so when we have kids. As mothers there is such an innate role of caring for others that we very often sacrifice ourselves completely. And some wives will do this even before the children come along. And I'm not saying that being a wife and mother aren't sacrificial roles. They are. But I've learned, by going the long way around the block, that we don't have to sacrifice our WHOLEselves to give the PART of ourselves our family needs. This was such a huge revelation to me recently that I think I'll say it again... We don't, as wives and mothers, have to sacrifice our WHOLEselves to give the PART of ourselves our family needs. To me, that is profound and straight from heaven.

For me, art is a big piece of my heart. It is not more important or even just as important as my family, but by pursuing it I am a better wife and mom. Pursuing it fulfills that nagging I've always had.

Hope deffered makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
                                        Proverbs 13:12

Choosing to figure out what that nagging is and then choosing to pursue it will fulfill something in us that isn't possible by any other means. We all have plenty of excuses and some of us certainly have more challenges than others but I think the greatest challenge to overcome is ourselves. Especially the feeling that we are sacrificing our family for our own "selfish" desires and dreams. Let me tell you - your dreams and your desires are not selfish. Our pursuit of them can be done in a selfish way but your dreams are not selfish and fulfilling them is not selfish as long as we do it with the right heart.

The Pursuit:
is in addition to all the things
we've already been doing on a daily basis.

will change the way people see you.

will change the way you see yourself.

will both satisfy and intensify that nagging feeling.

will be a journey that changes everything,
one step at a time. Not overnight.

will be worth your effort, your sacrifice,
your patience, your tears, your heart being filled.

When I finally realized my journey was really in full force and things started changing for me, I was scared to see what that meant for the people closest to me. How would they perceive me? How would they judge the changes it brought into my life and family? Would they think I was for real?

The only way to find out is to keep going. Take baby steps. They are adjusting just as much as you are. Be aware of that. Help them through the changes by not putting your new pursuit in front of them. Maybe there are days the only progress you make is simply keeping your thoughts and heart in the pursuit. Other days there is progress in other ways. Practical ways. Ways others can witness. Just keep going.

You’ve created a beautiful nest.
In it, your heart your soul
your very best.

Yet, there is a longing unfulfilled.
A place in your heart that has remained still.

You're dutiful ways pass the days
all while dreaming and wishing to play.

It's time, my bride,
show the world your hidden,
protected beauty inside.

Children grow and watch you, too.
Be an example for them to pursue.

No more weeping or tears to cry
you've just discovered that
you can both nest and fly.

Leave us a comment and tell us what your dream is. No matter how big, how small, how audacious it is! We'd love to hear about it and encourage you to keep going!

1 comment:

Jen said...

This might be my favorite post of all time. I connect with it so completely. There is a real guilt that's present when we choose to pursue our dreams. But that nagging you described, I believe that's the inner knowledge we have that we were given gifts by God and we were given the responsibility to use those gifts. We were given dreams to help us know where to direct those gifts.

I absolutely adore the last part of this poem. The idea that I can both nest and fly is a beautiful, wonderful, audacious one. Thank you for affirming it today!